At age twenty, I’m pretty comfortable identifying as gay, but there was a time where that thought terrified me.
In my scared confusion as a young teenager wrestling with the notion that I was different in such a major way, I turned to the internet; coming out videos on YouTube, “scientific” research, and infamous “Are You Gay” quizzes. I took a few of these quizzes recently, and the results were interesting, to say the least.
Test #1: Gay Test: Sexual Orientation Screening Test
One of the quizzes I took was called “Gay Test: Sexual Orientation Screening Test” on Illnessquiz.com. I knew from the name of this website that it probably wasn’t going to be the most accurate or helpful quiz I could have taken.
I tried to answer the questions as truthfully as possible, but I quickly noticed that it seemed to be geared more towards men, based on questions like “How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?” (I answered “20 minutes”), “How fashionable are you?” (I answered “moderately fashionable”), and “Do you hate watching stereotypical feminine programs like beauty pageants?” (I answered “yes”).
The other hint that this test was meant for men was that there were questions like “If you saw a hot man on the street, would you be interested” (I said “no”), “What is your ratio of love for women and men?” (I chose “95% women and 5% men”), and “Have you ever had feelings for a woman?” (I chose “yes”).
Despite my answers all being in favor of being with women, the final result was that I am not gay. If I had to rate this quiz on a scale of 1 through 10, I would probably give it a 4. If I was a confused man then maybe it would have helped me. If the quiz had been more clear about the audience, I probably wouldn’t have taken it to begin with. The questions were also slightly demeaning and basic. Using things like men liking the color pink as a factor in them being gay only futhers harmful sterotypes, and we’re really not here for that kind of thing.
Test #2: Ultimate Test: How Gay Are You?
The next one I took was “Ultimate Test: How Gay Are You?” from Nextgaything.com. This website name was slightly more promising than Illnessquiz.com for many reasons, the biggest one being that homosexuality is absolutely not an illness. Nextgaything.com sounds like it’s coming from like-minded people.
The first question comes right out and asks “Are you gay?”, which I answered that I was. There were a few questions in this one that play to some of the stereotypes I mentioned before, like “Do you like Lady Gaga?” (She’s talented, but not God, in my opinion), “Have you ever had your eyebrows plucked, waxed, or otherwise modified?” (I think everyone should pluck their eyebrows at some point, that’s a general cosmetic thing), and “How many shoes do you own?” (I only own a few). There were some original questions that I wonder what impact they had on the final result like “What city would you most like to live in?” (New York City baby), “What’s your favorite holiday?” (Halloween), and “What’s your favorite cocktail?” (Cosmopolitan).
The final result was that I am 62% gay. I don’t think percentages are a good way to measure such a major part of you. If you’re gay or a lesbian and don’t date people of the other gender, does that make you 100% gay? I lean more towards women, but I don’t know for sure that I would never date a man if he didn’t really blow me away, but does that make me 95% gay and 5% straight? Numbers are too precise a way to quantify a fluid and ever-changing aspect of personality. I would give this quiz a 5 out of 10 because I liked some of the more original questions.
Test #3: How Gay Are You?
No quiz list would be complete without an appearance by Buzzfeed. This 2014 quiz is called “How Gay Are You?” and it’s exactly what I had in mind when I was searching for quizzes to take.
This quiz had some very original and unique questions that I really liked, such as “What’s your drink of choice?” (I chose white wine because red wasn’t an option), “What U.S. President do you relate to the most?” (Barack Obama, obviously), “What’s your favorite root vegetable?” (I chose potatoes because they’re so versatile), and “What is your favorite weather phenomenon?” (I chose rainbow, because it felt the gayest and who doesn’t love a rainbow?).
These seemingly unrelated questions were amusing and were often broken up by very straightforward questions like, “Do you enjoy consensual sexual experiences with, or feel sexual attraction to members of the same sex as you?” (yes), “Have you ever felt sexually attracted to someone of the same sex?” (yes), and “If you could pick your ideal partner, what gender would they be?” (I chose the same as me). Just a reminder that sex is not the most important thing and innocent, romantic feelings are just as valid in determining your sexuality.
The result of this quiz is that I am very gay. This felt like an accurate answer to me and I thought this was a pretty good quiz. The only question here that I thought maybe pushed the stereotypes we don’t like was asking what Beyonce era was the best, but Beyonce is a queen, so I think we can all agree that it was a fair question. I would rate this quiz a 7 out of 10.
Taking these quizzes was a lot of fun because it gave me a chance to look at what people think makes a gay person. I don’t think these quizzes can actually tell you if you’re gay. It comes down to how you feel and the experiences you have. It’s important to remember that you’re the only one who really knows who you are and what you feel and there’s no rush to figure it all out.
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